TEDDY BRETT Development economist and social scientist working at the London School of Eonomics until 2018.

Positive Ageing Meeting the Challenges of Old Age Teddy Brett and Saira Shah

SAIRA SHAH Renowned journalist, author, reporter and documentary filmmaker. She has worked for the BBC, Channel 4 and CNN among others.

Shifting from maturity to old age and infirmity confronts us all with new challenges, opportunities and threats. Many of us build positive futures by starting new relationships and activities and consolidating old ones, but many others experience years of poverty, isolation, and dependency
Our ability to meet these challenges then depends on the quality of our financial and social capital, on our access to social services, and on how well we respond to the dramatic changes generated by our eventual transition to infirmity.
These challenges have changed dramatically during our lifetimes.
Earlier generations had secure pensions, cheap housing, excellent public services, and/or larger families that protected them from financial insecurity and isolation in old age. Later generations have had more opportunities, live longer in better health, but many more have less secure pensions, weaker social services and smaller families.
These conversations between Saira Shah, an author and broadcaster in her late 60s, and Teddy Brett a successful academic in his late 80s provide a comprehensive review of these issues that not only address the financial and health issues, but also the need to strengthen our family and personal relationships, and the social activities that will sustain us in old age.
They began next to a lake in France when Saira asked Teddy how he had manged to keep fit enough to paddle a kayak and keep teaching for so long. The resulting exchanges generated new insights for both of us that we can now share.

Episodes

We all need to foresee and prepare for the key transitionpoints in our lives when our obligations, opportunities and resources change dramatically.

These conversations are designed to help you to think about the challenges you will confront when you shift from maturity to old age, are probably struggling to manage the pressures of daily life and prefer to avoid thinking about your longerterm future.

We can identify five stages of modern wo/manhood – Infancy – Youth – Maturity – Old Age – and Infirmity.

We learn the skills and build the networks needed to support a career, create a household, and build a successful social and cultural life during the first three, and, hopefully, lead active and successful working and social lives during our the fourth.

Our options narrow and our responsibilities increase in our thirties, forties and fifties, as we meet the demands of career, homemaking, parenting, and maintaining our social networks.

However, many of these activities end or change in our sixties and seventies when our children leave home, we retire, our physical skills decline, and many of the roles that sustained our self-esteem, are taken over by younger fitter people.

These radical changes create new challenges have affected different kinds of people in different ways at different times, in different kinds of societies, depending on their class, their personal networks, and access to social services.

People in traditional societies had large families and their children and communities accepted the obligation to care for their parents in old age but they confront far more complex decisions in the modern ones that we are concerned with here.

In the recent past people were expected to retire at the end of their 50s, pay off their mortgages, live off their pensions, and relax, travel, socialise with their children, grandchildren, and friends, and devote their time to old or new leisure activities.

This is still the norm, but the upcoming generation confront a future that offers them far more complex opportunities and threats than their parents, so even the most fortunate of us should take early steps to guarantee themselves a positive future.

Improvements in health and a growing recognition of the value of the older generation, are offering them new opportunities to work longer, develop new skills, get involved in new activities, strengthen their bodies, and retain their personal autonomy.

However, many more people have insecure jobs, limited financial resources and social services; and live alone with no children, and confront an old age dominated by poverty, isolation and dependency.

We will review ways to maximise your opportunities and minimise these threats in the in the following conversations.

Your ability to enjoy a positive old age will depend on the strength of your existing resources, and on how well you can use them to maximise the new opportunities and possible threats that emerge when you retire.

You can do this in three steps –

• first identify your resources and limitations;
• second set yourself realistic goals;
• and third, identify begin to make the necessary as soon as you can.

First, use a SWOT analysis to identify your Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats

The quality of your old age will be determined by two things –

• the strength or weaknesses of the family and social networks, health, and financial assets you have accumulated.
• And your ability to deal with the loss of old activities, find rewarding new ones to occupy your time, and mange an long-term decline in your capacities, social and family networks, your income and physical resources.

People in traditional and modern countries deal with these challenges in different ways but both confront growing threats

• The former depend on kinship networks and community-based support that are now being eroded by economic and political crises and population growth.
• The latter depend on their savings, strong families and state services but access to pensions, housing, and care in old age is declining in many countries.

Second, we can respond to these challenges by identifying the opportunities that will emerge when we move on, and the weaknesses we will need to address if we are to widen our options and slow down our inevitable decline.

Ending formal employment and childcare can impoverish our lives but can also enable us to enjoy new activities, develop new skills and pass our skills on to the next generation, even though our energy and capacities will inevitably decline.

We therefore need to accept the inevitability of change; set realistic short- and long-term goals; and invest in the resources you will need to achieve them by

Third, addressing the issues we will cover in the rest of this series.

• Review and Strengthen your Personal and Emotional Resources
• Consolidate your family and social networks,
• Strengthen old and start new activities.
• Maintain your health and strength,
• Increase your savings and/or find new incomes or reduce your expenditure,
• Manage your eventual transition to Infirmity.

Ageing positively depends on the psychological, emotional, and reputational resources that we take forward from maturity into old age, and our ability to adapt them to meet our new needs and challenges.

Some of us will have been more successful than others, but we can all make the most of our resources by using the SWOT analysis we discussed earlier to meet the new challenges that will emerge as we move on.

• Replacing the activities and opportunities generated by work, parenting, sport, or occupying important social positions, that will decline then disappear;
• Strengthening those that remain, and seizing the new possibilities that will open when we move on;
• And revisiting and rethinking our memories, reputations, and core relationships that will now play a greater role in our lives.

It is easy to ignore these challenges, but we all benefit by responding to them as early and comprehensively as we can by -

First do what we can to review and consolidate our existing financial situation, physical capacities, and social networks and activities before we make the move from maturity to old age.

Second, use the time and resources available to you once you retire to maintain old and start new activities and relationships, by addressing the issues as we will address in the conversations that follow.

Third, we need to recognise how much more dependent we become on the self-esteem, and positive social connections we inherited from the past, and find ways to rebuild the relationships we have lost through conflicts, betrayals or neglect.

This damage may be irreversible, but it can also be caused by memories that misrepresent the nature of significant past events that have left behind destructive, and possibly erroneous understandings that block possible reconciliations.

Finding ways to address and resolve these can make a major contribution to our wellbeing when we recognise two things as I learnt at a Landmark Forum meeting.

• First, that their long-term impact depends on an incomplete, and often erroneous interpretation of what actually happened at the time.
• And that recognising this, revisiting the circumstances that motivated both parties, and, then reconnecting with lost others and attempting to resolve our differences can often restore and even enhance once significant relationships.

We recognise that people’s ability to follow these suggestions will vary dramatically, depending on their income, community, and social networks, but we also believe that everyone can increase their ability to age positively if they follow some of the suggestions that follow.

Maintaining your marriage or partnership becomes increasing important in old age, since couples share financial resources, and emotional and physical support, while singles are more likely to experience poverty and isolation.

We may discount these threats during out maturity, and leave rather than repair diffi-cult relationships, but need to do whatever we can to retain them, start new ones and strengthen our ties with family and close friends when our and capacities decline.

This raises two key challenges -

• First, try to save and rebuild conflicted relationships before making an irrevocable break and maintain cooperative relationships after separation if you can.
• Second, enhance surviving relationships by resolving past conflicts, finding new shared activities, staying sexually active, and supporting each other’s disabilities.

First, many more couples now separate than they did in the past because of neglect, boredom, abuse, or betrayals.

These separations may be necessary to end destructive relationships and enable people to create better ones, but anger, jealousy and boredom can blind us to the benefits that we were getting from them and the costs of separation.

Thus, many people regret their decisions later, and wish that they had attempted to resolve their differences at the time, while those who do manage to stay together often benefit from doing so when their needs change and their resources decline.

Further, separating couples who avoid adversarial conflicts over money and children and stay friends, can support each other, and even reunite in later life.

Second, all couples confront new opportunities and threats when they retire that call for significant changes in the nature of their relationships.

Successful couples may have more time, energy, and money when they retire that will enable them to remain sexually active and start new or strengthen old activities,

However, retirement will also increase their mutual dependence and can lead to a loss of self-esteem, boredom and resentment so even successful couples also need to re-evaluate their relationships by addressing outstanding grievances and establishing a fair division of tasks and resources.

Further we need to recognise that doing this will become increasingly difficult as our resources and capacities decline, especially when one partner’s physical or mental disabilities impose heavy costs on the other.

Sustaining our core relationships is probably the most important factor contributing to an independent and creative old age.

Our ability to do this will inevitably decline and end when we transition to infirmity – so all we can do is make the most of what we can do while we can.

Our inter-generational relationships change radically and our dependence on our wider family and close friendships increases when we age.

We may take these relationships for granted during out maturity, but our welfare in old age depends on how much we have invested in them in the past, and on how well we, our children and grandchildren manage the new opportunities and threats that will emerge when we retire.

The aged have always depended on children and communities in stable traditional societies, but these obligations are far weaker in modern ones where they have fewer children who may have moved away, lack the resources needed to support them, or have lost contact because of unresolved conflicts.

People in modern societies now depend on care provided by public agencies, but state care can be very limited, and private care can be ruinously expensive, so close family relationships still play a critical role in most cases so both parents and children need to prepare themselves for these changes as early as possible.

Oldies need to use their time and/or money to strengthen already existing bonds with their children and grandchildren and repair any emotional damage they may have inflicted on them in the past.

Their children need to make as much use as they can of what their parents have to offer while they still can, but then to do as much as they can to support them when their capacities decline.

• Parents should give their children and grandchildren as much financial support as they can, and
• take active steps to strengthen their existing relationships by maximising physical and social media contacts and finding new activities that can be shared with their family and close friends.
• Children should recognise the benefits their parents get from supporting them and use them as helpers as much as they can.
• Parents and children should attempt to renew and restore relationships that have been undermined by past conflicts, by ‘getting their pasts out of their futures’ as we saw in an earleir session.
• Both should not expect too much or harbour resentments because they feel that they have not received the recognition or support they think they deserve, and always show how much they value what they have done for each other.

Compulsory retirement on an adequate pension at 60 or 65 was once the norm when people were expected to enjoy more leisure, new pursuits, followed by a gradual decline in their activities, networks, and social status.

However, radical changes in our physical capacities and the social and economic environment are forcing everyone to rethink the way we spend our declining years.

Many people are living longer, have insecure jobs, and limited pensions, so losing their work-related income and relationships can turn the shift from maturity to old age into a threat rather than an opportunity.

However, many people can remain active in their 70s and 80s, while our ageing societies still need the skills and energy of the older generation. The need for them to do this is increasingly recognised, but outdated ageist attitudes still limit many people’s belief that they can do so.

We should therefore treat old age as a process in which we move from one activity to another as our capacities and interests change, rather than the end of our productive lives.

Ending formal employment will terminate the activities that filled most of our days, and many of the roles that gave us our sense of purpose, social status and valued social connections and friendships. These threats can be compounded when we relocate to a new country or city as many people do.

• Failing to replace the activities and networks we took for granted could lead to a loss of self-esteem, and eventually to social isolation, but it could liberate us from boring tasks and enable us to take on new activities.

Your ability to exploit these opportunities will depend on how well you have managed your health and financial resources, issues we will address later, but also on their social contexts, capacities, and interests.

• You experience and time can enable you to make a key contribution to running your existing or new social, cultural, political, charitable, or sporting organisations, but you need to recognise the need to hand them on to the next generation when your capacities decline.
• You can acquire new skills by taking advantage of the many learning opportunities that now exist.
• You should use and extend your social media contacts and skills to sustain your social networks

Doing this will present us with new challenges and replace those we lost at retirement and as our friends pass on with new ones.

The kind of activities and roles we can sustain will change as our strength and capacities decline, but the key objective should be to keep active till the end.

Your financial security in old age will depend on the financial assets you and your family have invested during your maturity, and your access to state services.

Many of the older generation are enjoying a secure old age because they have had access to free university education, affordable mortgages, index linked pensions, and large capital gains on their homes and adequate state pensions.

This is far less true for the rising generation since many have large student loans, less secure pension rights and benefits, and paying far more for their housing and future social care.

These reversals have intensified conflicts between the privileged older and vulnerable younger generations and call for radical changes in public policy.

Further, these changes could condemn many people to an impoverished old age, so everyone other than the economic elite need to safeguard their financial futures by finding ways to earn and save more.

Many people are reluctant to reduce their consumption, but they are likely to pay a heavy price in later life, unless they take advantage of a range of possible solutions -

First, people can now work longer, move to less demanding jobs as they age and supplement their incomes through informal employment in the ‘gig economy’.

Second, people need to set up long-term investment plans for their old age but often find it hard to do so -

• Accessing the housing ladder is now very costly, but still worthwhile since paying off a mortgage is an investment rather than an expenditure like rent.
• People without index-linked pensions should get professional advice to set up private pensions and investment trusts.
• They should create tax-free income-generating investment portfolios rather than leaving their money in savings accounts but use professional advice and avoid investing in risky projects.

Third, our financial security depends on the success of our long term investments into our whole families rather than ourselves as individuals.

• Our parents and grandparents shaped our futures by investing in our education and assets, we should do the same for our children since their wealth or poverty will determines their ability to support us in our infirmity.
• The older generation with good pensions and valuable houses should accept an obligation to go on contributing to their children’s education, housing or businesses for much longer than was the case in the past.

Fourth, we must recognise the massive long-term financial advantages of sustaining our core relationships, since couples share incomes, housing and the costs of care.

Your health and strength will decline in old age, but you can live longer and more active lives if you exercised regularly in the past and continue to do so till the end.

This is universally true, but doing so imposes different demands on people, depending on their earlier lifestyle, physical capacity, and access to facilities.

• People whose occupations have involved regular physical labour or have ke[t fit from the start should remain healthy into old age, provided that they eat well and go on exercising;
• But people who have led sedentary lives and eaten unhealthy food, are likely to suffer from debilitating conditions that will worsen as they age.

However, children and adults now live on screens and eat unhealthy food, so the incidence of obesity, diabetes, heart-conditions, and memory loss are growing.

These people need to make a radical break with their pasts, by eating better and exercising more, while those who did play competitive games in the past need to find new physical challenges when they can no longer do so.

Regular exercise therefore becomes more rather than less important as we age, and people who accept this challenge can achieve impressive goals by climbing mountains, running marathons, and competing in senior competitions in their 70s and 80s.

So what could we do maximise our physical capacities until the end?

First, give your exercise programme as much importance as any of your other activities and integrate it into you daily routines.

Second, recognise that starting a new exercise programme will be more difficult and take longer than before, but will soon produce significant results and enhance all of your other activities.

Third, everyone can start a low-cost individual exercise programme without special facilities, by integrating free-standing exercises, vigorous walking, jogging or cycling into their daily and weekly routines.

But fourth, treat exercise as a pleasure rather than a chore by taking up creative social activities like team sports, dancing, walking, gardening, or competitive challenges like running further or climbing higher.

Fifth, recognise that your wellbeing depends on the health and fitness of your own family, so do what you can to help your children and grandchildren to take part in the cultural and physical activities that you may have missed.

Finally, recognise that your skills, energy and physical capacities will decline as you age, so set yourself realistic targets, and shift to less demanding activities, but keep moving till the end!

While many people are able to live active lives till the end, many also have to deal with disruptive changes in their social and financial arrangements when they make their final transition from old age to infirmity.

Children rely on their parents in their youth, they support their own children as parents and grandparents in their maturity, but they then depend on their family and social networks, and access to social services in their infirmity.

Ther wellbeing then depends on the resources they have accumulated in the past, and on their ability to navigate the inevitable emotional and financial changes in their mutual relationships that occur as their strength and independence declines.

This will raise complex and varied social and financial issues that they should address, depending on their resources and social context.

Most of us, and especially those in traditional societies still rely on our partners, family, and friends, for most of our support, but more and more of us are living longer, having fewer children and confronting an isolated infirmity.

The latter are likely to live out isolated lives in state or private care homes; the former can hope for a secure and sometimes even rewarding ending, if everyone is willing to give them the support they need.

Couples can retain their independence deep into old age, even where one partner is seriously disabled, if they can access adequate social services and support from friends and relatives.

Their relatives and close friends can make a major contribution to their wellbeing when they can spend more time with them by living nearby, giving up work or other activities, taking them in, or paying for private care and visiting them regularly.

Oldies can facilitate these processes by transferring assets to their children in advance, move into sheltered housing, cultivate surviving friendships, and use the resources provided by social groups in the community.

Parents may well lose their ability to manage their own affairs, so they need to set up a ‘Lasting Power of Attorney’ to enable someone else to do so. They should also -

• make a ‘living will’ if they wish to avoid resuscitation after an emergency and should not be discouraged from seeking help if they wish to ‘die with dignity’.
• transfer assets to their relatives as early as possible to minimise death duties.
• make a legal will that allocates their assets to their beneficiaries, and an executor to deal with the complex issues involved in valuing and transferring them.
• organise individual and collective meetings to negotiate a fair and agreed settlement between heirs to deal with potentially damaging conflicts of interest. between heirs.

Your life must end, but the life you lived will continue to influence your survivors for the rest of theirs.

You cannot change these relationships and mutual experiences, but you can manage the memories we leave behind.

Your deaths will cause great distress and loss, but their memories of your past experiences will continue to enhance their lives especially if you can consolidate and strengthen the positive events and address unresolved conflicts and missed opportunities that may have undermined them.

Your death must have a significant impact on the lives of our survivors, since their lives, capacities and experiences and ours have been shaped by what we have received from and given to them.

These ‘recollections of times past’, help some of us to prosper, but leave others with scars that block their futures and blighten their lives, so we therefore need to do what we can to –

• Reinforce the emotional bonds we have formed with all of our close relationships by maximising contacts, maintaining existing activities and developing new ones with children, grandchildren, and friends.
• Resolve unreconciled conflicts and clear up outstanding misunderstandings and resentments that are still undermining our relationships, since these will undermine the memories that they carry forward into later life.
• Extend their knowledge of our history – our origins, achievements, experiences, beliefs - since these will mean a great deal to them and let them know how important your relationship with them has been.

Funerals and memorials, ranging from massive tributes to the lives of great leaders and heroes, to modest but heartfelt tributes to ordinary lives.

They have always played major but varied roles in all cultures depending on peoples religious beliefs, achievements, reputation, family, and networks, and wealth.

Organising them can involve significant outlays and difficult but important decisions about who to invite, how to contact them and who to exclude. People with terminal conditions can make a significant contribution to the quality of the event.

Successful celebrations bring social networks together, reconcile survivors to your loss, and leave behind indelible memories; failing to attend or being excluded can undermine long-term relationships.

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